How many times do you take a thought for granted and repeat it over and over again? Without knowing where this thought comes from, without knowing if it still makes sense to you, does this thought that you have so recurrently, so “innately” bring you peace and enjoyment or does it limit your nature?
The way we speak to each other is key and indispensable to our harmony, peace of mind and self-love. We tend to embrace thoughts, ideas and truths that do not necessarily belong to us.
Teaching how to question thoughts is my passion and my mission because I know that this tool is key to feel happier. Therefore, today I bring you a small Guide to question the thoughts that prevent you from feeling peace and enjoyment.
We suffer every time we believe a thought that disturbs or blocks us. I always say that we can only love and enjoy if our mind lets us. Generally, reality is the way it is and according to our interpretations, we either reject it or enjoy it.
For example, if it rains, it is not the fact that it is raining that prevents us from enjoying, but the thought “I don’t want it to rain.”
If you feel anger, fear, envy, shame, hopelessness in a given situation, the first step is to stop thinking, “I shouldn’t feel that.” and the second step is to find out what belief or thought you are believing just before you feel that.
A good idea is to write it down and ask yourself, “Does that thought give me peace or take away peace? If the thought is stressing you out or preventing you from being happy, I recommend questioning it according to the following method, inspired by Biron Katie’s “The Work”.
First, take some time to visualize in your mind the concrete situation and write down the thought you want to question. For example, “John judges me.”
Then, explore the following questions and investments.
- Is it true?
- Can I be 100% sure? What events have happened that confirm this thought?
How do I react when I believe this thought? What does it do for me to have this thought?
- What does it take away from me? What prevents me from seeing, doing or feeling in this situation? Can I do anything to change this situation? Is it up to me?
- Who would I be without the thought in the same situation? How would I live this situation and how would I feel without this thought?
- Inversion: I turn the thought around and write the opposite.
1º Towards me (For example: I judge myself).
2º The opposite (For example: John does not judge me.)
3º I towards the other (For example: I judge him).
In each reversal, I ask myself: Why is it also true in this situation?
I look for three examples that show that it is also true.
- What’s good here that I’m not seeing? Is there another way to look at this situation?
- What small thought would feel better to me right now?
I hope this guide is helpful to you. If you wish to feel accompanied, I give you a hand to learn how to use the tool and to be able to return to your peace more easily.